Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
