Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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