I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize