I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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