about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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