i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
