Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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