Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
