is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
