you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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