my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
God I need to hump something, right now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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