apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
