and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
