love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
