guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Houston, we have a squirter
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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