Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
