just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you never un-have a 4some
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