we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize