just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
