she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
