Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
