remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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