well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
