take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
