They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
