Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
