What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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