For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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