I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize