the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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