Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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