Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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