I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
