i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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