just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
