Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
