did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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