i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
