; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
