just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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