Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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