Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
