I didn't shave. On purpose
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
