don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So squirting runs in the family.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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