never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
vagina is talking i cant
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
