guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize