Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So squirting runs in the family.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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