What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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