I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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