I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
