I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize