I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
