I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
