i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
