whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
