Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
