The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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