that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
