it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
