My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
