i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
