My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
