At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
