my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize