Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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