Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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