You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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