Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I didn't notice because vodka
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
