Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
