This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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