While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
